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Dear Julie Swank: I’m 39 years old and planning my second wedding. My fiance will do anything for me except wear a tuxedo. I was just 22 for my first wedding at the Beverly Hills Hotel. I wore a beautiful white dress, and my bridesmaids wore sea foam green and mauve satin. The catered shrimp cocktail and chilled champagne affair was like a dream come true. Too bad the groom turned out to be a nightmare. He wasted my youth and good looks, and my parents wasted a lot of money on my dream wedding. He left me for a librarian six months later. We looked so happy in our wedding photos, but it wasn’t meant to be. What should I do this time?
--Signed, The Princess Bride
Dear Princess: Stop Poof Pouting -- you’ll ruin your makeup. You’ve learned your lesson: fairy tale princesses often lived in dark, dank, unpleasant castles, despite their lovely dresses and grilled sea food. Respect your new fiancé’s wishes for something more casual. Second weddings can be meaningful and fun for you, your groom, and your loyal parents who still love you despite your youthful mishap when dated colors clouded your vision. Disregard the louse. He’s consigned himself to a dull life of being shushed. You’ve moved on darling. Good for you.
Swank Advice: a second wedding can still be a “fantasy affair” and this time your parents won’t have to sell a single Class A share of Berkshire Hathaway stock if you Viva Las Vegas. Yes, Mrs. Swank is advising a tried and true Elvis Wedding.
Please, no balking. It’s unbecoming. Mrs. Swank has personally attended the delightful 2nd nuptials of her dearest friends, Mr. and Mrs. Harrison and Judith Jones at the Chapel of Elvis. In fact, Mrs. Swank was a bridesmaid, and Mr. Swank was the best man. The ceremony was lively, yet meaningful, for the bride and groom who asked Elvis to sing their favorite song, “Suspicious Minds.”
The wedding party stayed at the lovely Mirage hotel:, and the bride ordered up the entire catered reception for 30, including the sinfully chocolate cake, to the honeymoon suite a few days before the event.
The food was quite good (including herb-crusted sea scallops, seared to perfection) and the presentation lovely. Obviously, the hotel has done many wedding receptions, from the intimate to the grand, and can accommodate reasonable requests quickly and efficiently. The entertainment was a breeze, since the entire wedding party descended to the lobby to play roulette after cake and vodka shooters, post haste.
The mother of the bride and assorted cousins escaped to the hotel spa the next day . A few friends frolicked at the dome covered amusement park at Circus Circus, but Mr. and Mrs. Swank took a stroll through the Mirage’s lobby to view the white tigers and dolphins (who live in splendid, yet separate, habitats, mind you).
Please note: Mr. and Mrs. Harrison Jones’ wedding took place before Roy’s tragic misunderstanding with his white tiger, when the fierce creatures still looked tame, in that exotic caged-beast way that makes Mrs. Swank swoon.
According to the bride, “My Elvis Wedding was the best day of my life. From the limo ride to the chapel, to the lovely flower bouquet that I picked out right before the ceremony, the pre-planned package was perfect. And I was able to wear my black lace cocktail dress, which was both appropriate and slimming.”
The groom, a true Southern gentleman, was equally delighted with the Elvis wedding, which was his debut at the altar. “The best part was watching the maid of honor shake her groove thing with the King after we said our vows. And, another maid bought us ‘Just married by Elvis’ t-shirts after the ceremony. You can’t get an Elvis t-shirt at a church.”
Well said, Harrison, and well done, Judith.
